Funny Wedding Vows

60+ Funny Wedding Vows to Tie the Knot with Laughter

Are you looking for an unforgettable way to express your love and devotion on your special day?

Your wedding vows are one of the most important parts of your ceremony, so why not make them truly unique by adding a touch of humor and laughter into them?

Whether you want to bring some light-heartedness to heartfelt traditional lines or say something that will get everyone in attendance giggling, we’ve rounded up over 60 funny wedding vows that will help you and your partner tie the knot with smiles on everyone’s faces.

Funny Wedding Vows for Him

  • I pledge my loyalty to you until the day we die, or until you finally admit that pineapple belongs on pizza (whichever comes first).
  • I vow to have your back and love you unconditionally, through all of life’s ups and downs- even if one of us has to be the parent in the relationship!
  • On this day, I commit myself to loving you more than cheese fries any day!
  • For better or worse, richer or poorer…or at least until our Netflix subscription runs out.
  • I vow to always let you have the last bite of my ice cream, as long as you promise to never judge me for eating it out of the container!
  • I will support your dreams and aspirations – and if your dream is to run away with the circus, then I’ll help you pack!
  • I vow to always make fun of you (in the most loving way possible). When life gets too serious, I will be here to bring a little laughter into our relationship.
  • I swear that no matter how much you try to mess it up, I will never ever let go of our love and dedication for each other!
  • From today onwards, whatever we do together shall involve plenty of good-natured teasing and ribbing until we both can’t help but laugh hysterically!
  • As a token of my appreciation, I hereby vow to you that I will always be here to listen and support your wildest dreams, even if they are too silly to actually come true.
  • I vow not only to accept your flaws but also exaggerate them from time-to-time (for comedic effect).
  • I vow not only to take on your burdens, but also to make fun of them when I can!
  • I vow to always support you in whatever you choose to do, even if it means sitting through five hours of a Lord of the Rings movie marathon.
  • I vow to always keep you laughing and make sure you get your daily dose of humor, even if it means having to watch The Office for the hundredth time.
  • I promise to always support your dreams–even if it means joining your Dungeons & Dragons game.
  • I vow to share with your all of my popcorn and gummy bears at the movies (and nothing else, we know how you feel about sharing ice cream).
  • Our love has been so strong, it made even the strongest walls crumble. And I vow to continue making them crumblier!
  • Today I promise to always be there when you need me – except if we’re watching a football match and you’re rooting for the wrong team. Then you’ll have to wait until half-time!
  • From this day forward, I promise to always be the one who tidies up after us – because it’s way funnier than trying to explain why the house is a mess!
  • I promise to always have your back – unless you decide to buy another pair of shoes that doesn’t match any of your clothes!
  • I vow to always order the dessert for two in restaurants, even when it’s really just for me.
  • I vow to make sure the house is always clean enough for you to find your way around it without getting lost (and bonus points if I manage to surprise you with a freshly vacuumed floor every now and then).
  • I vow to always bring you your favorite snacks when they’re on sale at the store.
  • I vow to always be your biggest fan, even if it means wearing an embarrassing t-shirt or cheering you on from the sidelines.
  • No matter what life throws our way, I swear to share the burdens – whether it’s doing extra dishes or because we bought too much pizza again!
  • With this ring, I thee wed…and accept all future responsibility for your bad habits.
  • Our relationship has been full of surprises so far, but today I give my word that no matter what comes up, together we can tackle it – unless it’s a spider; in which case I will cower behind you for protection!
  • I love you more than all the chocolate in the world, so let’s vow to never argue over who gets to eat the last piece.
  • In this marriage, I’ll do my best to try not to be too bossy – unless of course it’s about what movie we should watch!
  • Today, I make a promise never to take my frustrations out on you after a bad day at work – even if that means occasionally I need some time alone with a pint of ice cream and my pillow.
  • Above all else, I pledge to keep loving you with every fiber of my being; through good times and bad, and even when we’re old and grey.
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Funny Wedding Vows for Her

  • I, _______ , take you __________ to be my lawfully wedded wife. Like our love, these vows will last until death do us part…or at least until we get into an argument and the couch becomes my bed for the night.
  • I vow that if either of us ever forget an anniversary, birthday or any other special occasion then it’s probably because I didn’t write it down in my planner – not because I don’t care!
  • With this ring, I give you all of my love and the full access to the remote control.
  • I vow to always make time for us, no matter how busy life gets – even if it means getting a sitter so we can go out and have an adult conversation that doesn’t involve talking about diapers or bills.
  • To love and cherish you today and every day until the end of time. Even when you are being a bit grumpy or naggy about our household chores!
  • To always make time for date nights – where we can let loose and just have fun!
  • To honor the vows that were made today, until death do us part or until I run out of jokes (whichever comes first)!
  • I promise that if you ever need help with something, whether it’s grocery shopping or landscaping the backyard, I will be there with bells on…and maybe some other silly attire too!
  • I vow to never take you for granted, not even when you turn up late to dinner parties because of your “shopping emergency”.
  • I swear to always be your knight in shining armor when things go awry, even if it means sacrificing a few hours of sleep.
  • From this day forward, I vow to always take your advice – or at least pretend to.
  • I promise to always make you laugh with my puns and dad jokes, no matter how groan-worthy they are.
  • My feelings for you are bigger than my appetite when there’s pizza around.
  • I vow to never let the dishes pile up in the sink because dishpan hands are so last decade!
  • I vow to never forget our anniversary again, well at least for the next 364 days!
  • I will always open the jam jar, no matter how hard it is to twist that lid off.
  • I swear to never leave the bathroom light on after using it and always flush the toilet before leaving.
  • I vow to always listen (even if it’s not about sports).
  • I vow to always look on the bright side – like when I break something, you’ll have an excuse to buy a better version.
  • I promise to never leave the toilet seat up, unless you forget and do it first… then it’s totally fair game!
  • I promise to never forget that the biggest risk in our relationship is one of us eating the last slice of pizza without offering it to the other.
  • I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded wife – for better or for worse, in sickness and in health…or at least until one of us gets sick of the other.
  • When we first met we were like two awkward teenagers fumbling through life and trying to figure out how to fit into the world. Now, standing here in front of our friends and family, I can say with absolute conviction that I have found my place in this world – next to you.
  • I vow to always love you through thick and thin slices of pizza.
  • With all my heart, soul and strength…I promise to still be able to pick you up when I’m too lazy to get a stool.
  • From here on out, you can always trust me to break the uncomfortable silence with my hilarious (and sometimes inappropriate) jokes – even if it gets me in trouble every now and then.
  • I vow never to do the dishes before you have a chance to get to them.
  • I vow to never take myself too seriously, and always make sure you are laughing more than crying.
  • My love for you is like an eternal flame…it will never die…except when there’s no electricity or we run out of firewood.
  • I vow to always be your best friend and biggest fan, cheering you on through life’s ups and downs.
  • Most importantly, I promise to never stop loving you…unlike my ability to remember anniversaries (oops!).
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Wrapping Up

Thus, we’ve come to the end of this hilarious journey, filled with 60+ knee-slapping and giggling-inducing funny wedding vow ideas. These vows are sure to infuse your big day with the right amount of humor, making your wedding unforgettable for you and your guests alike. So, embrace the unpredictability of love, take the plunge and add a touch of laughter to your I dos. May your love story be full of joy, laughter, and hilarity. Cheers to a lifetime of belly laughs, silly moments, and unending love.

Rosie Liliy